Are Any Of These Killing Your Sex Drive?

You might believe a lower sex desire is unavoidable during menopause, but this is not true.

Your sex drive is not only about your hormones, and as your desire can change over the years, many things can truly affect how you feel.

A big problem during menopause is that physical discomfort can grow as your hormone levels change and drop, but do not ignore these other things too.

Menopause

For many women, the desire for sex lessens around menopause, and many things can affect your libido and sex drive.

This is partly due to issues like a dry vagina and pain during sex, but also feelings like not feeling sure of yourself, your appeal, and your value.

But each woman is unique, and you can still have a good sex life during and after menopause by focusing on your relationship, confidence, and general well-being.

A dry vagina can be treated with oestrogen or a mix of progesterone and oestrogen and if you have atrophy then oestrogen will definitely be needed.

However, if regularly experiencing pain or bleeding during sex you should always see your doctor to find out why it is happening and get help with this.

Stress

Many of us perform better when under pressure, yet feeling attractive is typically not one of those things.

Pressure at work, at home, or in relationships can affect anyone. Learning how to cope with it more easily is very useful, so attempt to find what is causing you stress and get support from hormone rebalancing, therapy, meditation, or medication if needed.

Partnership issues

When I worked with Dame Dr Shirley Bond, a Menopause and Hormone Expert, some years ago and the subject of sex drive came up in one of our workshops, I thought she said something very smart and useful.

That it is unfair to expect to feel romantic with your partner if you are having trouble with them and that all relationships go through times when such problems do appear.

Trouble with your partner is among the main things that lower sex drive, mainly because, for women, feeling connected is often a big part of wanting sex.

For both men and women, watch out for the negative effects of arguments, toxic speech or behaviour and talk honestly about feelings of hurt, neglect or other honesty problems. If it is hard to fix things yourself, think about some type of help such as couples counselling.

Alcohol

This can be a catch-22 situation as a drink can make you more willing to have sex, but too much alcohol can lower your desire for sex.

Being very drunk can also make your partner not want to have sex with you, so if this is a problem in your relationship then seek professional help.

Sleep

This is certainly one of the big issues during menopause because sleep is often interrupted due to symptoms such as night sweats or bladder issues. If you do not get enough sleep, that will surely impact your desire for sex.

Do you go to sleep too late or get up too early? Do you have a sleep issue like difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, or a health problem like sleep apnoea?

Anything that disturbs sound sleep can affect sex. There is no doubt that tiredness influences your emotions, and that includes your sex drive.

Improve your sleep routines and try bioidentical progesterone, which is a natural relaxant, or mild herbal or other natural remedies or therapies.

Medication

This is often overlooked, as we don’t connect loss of sexual desire to possible side effects from medication. Some medicines can lower desire such as these kinds of drugs:

– Antidepressants

– Blood pressure medications

– Birth control pills

– Chemotherapy

–  Anti-HIV drugs

Inform your doctor if you see your sexual interest is reduced soon after you begin a new medicine and changing medicines or amounts may help.

Talk to your doctor about that and always keep taking any medicine as prescribed until you have discussed it with them.

Body image and obesity

Feeling sexy is simpler if you are happy with your appearance, and feeling good about yourself can make you feel like having sex.

Having low self-worth can mean you don’t fully enjoy sex, can’t perform as you wish, or are stopped by thoughts of not being good enough.

If you or your partner feel bad about yourselves, this can lead to less desire, so you might need to seek help for this with specific counselling or a support group if necessary.

Depression

Having frequent low moods or just feeling down can stop you from enjoying many things, like sex, and if you have seen a doctor, tell them if you have a low desire for sex, because some depression medicines (but not all) reduce sex drive.

Low mood can also be linked to hormonal imbalance and is often helped by a combination of both progesterone and oestrogen.

Intimacy

Sex without emotional connection can impact your interest because closeness is more than just sex.

If your libido is low and sex an issue, try spending more time together, just the two of you, without sex. Talk, cuddle, give each other massages and find ways to show love without having sex.

Men and libido

It is not realistic to believe that only women experience a reduced sex drive.

Men with erectile dysfunction (ED) frequently fret about their ability to have sex, and although this can be managed, so this worry can lessen their desire.

Another problem they face as they get older is that their primary hormone, testosterone, powers sex drive. As men get older, their levels might slightly decrease, and while not all lose their desire for sex when this occurs, some do.

Many other factors—from relationships to weight to prostate problems—also influence a man’s sex drive and testosterone levels, so it may be wise to first see a doctor and definitely to talk openly with each other to discover an answer that is good for both of you.

Need more?

Many things can help boost your desire for sex, and checking your hormone levels is a good start.

Bioidentical progesterone may help with worry, mood swings, and sleep problems that are common for women during menopause.

However, if the problem is physical discomfort, a cream with both progesterone and natural oestrogen, like Wellsprings 20-1, would be more suitable. However, if what you have is vaginal atrophy then this always needs a separate oestrogen source such as Wellsprings Balancing cream.

If you need more help, this article may be useful.

https://blog.wellsprings-health.com/how-to-naturally-help-a-low-libido/